THE SANDWICH DIARIES: S1.E10."Smoke and Flames"
Sometimes the day just doesn't start your way. Sometimes you get woken up by your flatmate's alarm at 5am, but he doesn't, so it keeps ringing for half hour until you get out of bed and threaten the man with the wrath of a thousand honey badgers. Sometimes your next door neighbour keeps your Amazon delivery of wood chips and tinfoil hostage until late morning so any cooking timetable you had planned goes out of the window. Sometimes you realise that you made not enough and wrong type of bread so you have to power walk to the local bakers and explain to a very inquisitive and untrusting lady at the till why you want so many loafs of bread and also fail to convince her that you are completely capable of eating a blueberry/mint cheesecake on the road so she puts it in two boxes and hides it right at the bottom of the bag instead of just handing it over to you like you asked because according to her you lack the adequate motor skills and it (the cheesecake) is about as structurally stable as a house of card balancing on the back of a rodeo bull or like Roman Empire under Nero.
If you are having a day like that, don't worry. Just take a long breath, dig up the cheesecake, have a cup of tea while waiting for your neighbor and feel good about the exercise you did (yes power-walking uphill while eating a cheesecake counts as exercise). Life has a tendency of sorting itself out, so chill and do what you can while not worrying about things you can't; and once it does maybe boil and wok-smoke some meat on your hob.
Yeah, you heard me right: wok-smoking is the hot new thing all the cool cats on the block are talking about. You don't even need much, just a wok, a rack, some smoking wood chips soaked in whiskey and what I believe in metric measurements equate to "shit-tone" of foil. Also, disabling your smoke detector might be a good idea, unless you are like me and have done it on the day you moved in. Side effects of this method might include: delicious meat, a smoke screen you can use to your advantage like a ninja, a new fragrance with a fresh aroma of a campfire that will fuse with your clothing, hair, skin and probably soul for days. Is it worth it though? Totally, you could also make a fashionable tin-foil hat accessory out of any foil you got left.
Anyway, the meat is done and although it's a little bit drier and chewier than I hoped the flavour is all there, so in my opinion it turned out 6.5/10 (on a scale where 9 is divine and 10 is not even from this universe) not bad for the first time. All that's left now is to make sandwiches and share them with some groovy peeps around the big city of L.
Love and peace
